Can you fall in love too young?

Can you fall in love too young?
By Catherine Hollyman

For some, teen romances are just that, but for others, they develop into long-term, lasting relationships.

It is often said that people of a young age don't know what love is. In many cases this can be true; however, there are some people who do fall in love young ?not just your average crush, but the full-blown, head-over-heels, can't-be-without-you kind of love that we all hope happens to us one day.

For some, like Bethan and Paul, falling in love early on means they have more of their lives to spend with each other. They met when Bethan was just 21 and Paul 22 and, after 10 years together, they are getting married early this year. But for Paul's close friend, falling in love young has had a very different impact on his life. Jay fell in love with his girlfriend at 18 and, although they spent a few years together, things didn't work out and she left him. Over 10 years later, he has not had a serious girlfriend since. Despite briefly dating other women, he finds it difficult to get close to them without constantly comparing them to his ex.

Friends or lovers?
Michelle is just 26, but already feels as though she's been through a divorce. Although they weren't actually married, Michelle and her partner were together for nearly 10 years and had been best friends since they were 12. They'd grown up together and even bought a house together for their future. When he called it quits, Michelle's world fell apart. Not only did she feel like she'd lost her partner, she felt that she'd lost her best friend.

'I didn't know what to do with myself,' says Michelle. 'I was so used to sharing everything with him that I felt as though a huge part of me was missing.'

While some may say that Michelle lost 10 years of her life with him, she regrets nothing. 'He taught me a lot about life and about compromise, and for that I'm grateful. I now know what I want out of future relationships.'

Falling in love at a young age can often result in losing your virginity to that person. But what happens if things don't work out ?will you feel cheated that you gave something so precious to the wrong person? And what if it turns out to be the real thing ?will you wake up one day wishing you'd met your partner a little later in life so you'd had the chance to play the field a bit before settling down?

Victoria met Eden at 16 when they were at school and they started dating at 18. 'We became inseparable very early on in the relationship, which worried my mum. She had reservations because I was so young and thought I should see what else was on offer before getting into a full-blown relationship. Although I disagreed with her, I could see her point. I knew I loved Eden, but at times I often wished I'd met him a little later in life for me to see what else was around.'


When is a good time to fall in love? Does age actually matter when, after all, if things don't work out it will hurt, no matter how old you are?

Two years ago, after seven years together, Victoria and Eden broke up. In hindsight Victoria believes the break-up was caused because they simply weren't the same couple they'd been at first. 'The break-up was the best thing we ever did, because it made us realise that if life deals you a good hand, take it, no matter what stage of your life it is. It's been two years since the break-up and our relationship gets stronger all the time ?we're actually getting married in October!'

Staying with the same person because it's convenient
At 20, Natalie thought she was in love. 'Looking back, though, I think I was more in love with the idea of being in a relationship, rather than actively identifying that he was someone I wanted to spend my life with.'

The relationship had a profound affect on Natalie. 'I wasn't a very confident person at the time. We both had fundamentally different values and aspirations which, combined with infidelity on his part, resulted in my confidence being eroded further. It is very difficult to trust again once you've had your heart broken and your pride and confidence shattered from a partner's infidelity - it takes time to rebuild the pieces. Ten years on and I've come to realise that, although painful, this experience at a young age helped me to understand what I do and don't want in a life partner.'

Finding and falling in love with your life partner when you are very young can be fraught with problems, in that you are both still changing, developing, maturing and working out who you really are and what really matters to you. Sometimes these changes can be synergistic but, unfortunately, often they are not.

However, it isn't just age that leads to a change in a person's character or affects what it is they want from life - a new career, new friends or travelling can all alter a person's perspective and, therefore, their relationships. This begs the question, then, when is a good time to fall in love? Does age actually matter when, after all, if things don't work out it will hurt, no matter how old you are? With this in mind, if you have fallen in love with someone who loves you back, then embrace it, because, regardless of our age, we all hope we'll be lucky enough to find love one day.

Copyright ?2005 handbag.com
Extracted from MSN